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Westport Cotillion is the eighth episode of the first season of American Housewife. Written by Julie Bean and directed by Rebecca Asher, it aired on December 6, 2016.


As Katie tries to keep better tabs on what her children are doing, Oliver tells Greg that he's secretly taking cotillion classes. With the cotillion dance event coming soon, Oliver asks Greg to keep the secret from Katie, fearing that Katie will show up at the dance and embarrass him.

the episode starts where Katie and the kids are in the car. Katie asks Taylor and Oliver what is going on in their lives today. They say nothing. Katie tells them to put their phones down and keep them down. If they don’t do it, Katie is going to do a choke hole from the drivers seat. Katie asks them the same thing and they say no. At the diner, Katie sees Angela and Doris, but Oliver sees Alice McCarthy. Katie makes him wave to her. At dinner, Katie talks about how the kids’ days were. Katie talks to Oliver about Alice McCarthy. Oliver asks Katie is are you crazy? Katie is trying to help Oliver about it. Wake on the weekends counts. Greg agrees with Katie. Anna-Kat annoys Oliver by saying Ooh Alice may I hold your hand with my gross sweaty hand. It’s not Oliver’s fault. Katie tells Oliver and Taylor that they are going to respond to her from now on. Taylor says that’s not fair. Katie tells them well your talkness is not fair. Then, Anna-Kat annoys Taylor and Oliver by saying Ooh you guys are in so much trouble. After Anna-Kat says that, she giggles because she likes it when they are grounded. Taylor and Oliver say Mom to Katie. And Katie tells Anna-Kat to wait for her upstairs, Making Anna-Kat feel very upset. Greg tells Katie that she is stalking the older kids like she is hunting a wild animal. Oliver lies to Katie and Greg so they confront him about the dance and tell him that he is going and they are going too. Oliver feels embarrassed because of Kimmy Wu. Who is size 22. Katie tells Taylor if she has anything, she can call her. Taylor thanks Oliver for pissing off Katie more than Taylor. At the dance, Oliver sees Alice. But he is shy so Greg helps him with his fear of girls. Oliver now likes the girl. Katie confronts Sophie’s mom because Taylor and Sophie haven’t gotten along because of their behavior but Sophie’s mom tells Katie rudely to mind her own business and work them out for themselves. Then Katie angrily slaps a drink out of Sophie’s mom’s hand, making Sophie’s mom very upset. Oliver tells Taylor what happened. Taylor and Sophie have now been back to best friends (aka bffs). Katie and Greg find Anna-Kat’s deer who wants the dessert but Katie says no you bitch.


Main Cast[]

Guest Starring[]

  • Heather Wake as Sophie's Mom (credited as Jessica Wake)
  • Isabel Gravitt as Alice McCarthy
  • Jazmin Pollinger as Kimmie Wu
  • Joe Burnell as Kurt Brockwell
  • Devan Key as Student #1
  • Jacob Radin as Student #2


This is the first episode that Alice McCarthy appears in.

Sophie’s Mom makes her only appearance in the series.

This is the first episode in which Anna-Kat annoys Taylor and Oliver.

It is mentioned that Taylor is 15.



Katie: should we talk about Alice McCarthy. Should we invite her to dinner sometime?

Anna-Kat: Ooh

Oliver: are you crazy?

Katie: I’m just telling you that.

Taylor: just get into it.

Katie: she makes a good point. Worlds on the weekends counts.

Greg: it works.

Sam: (laughs)

Anna-Kat: Ooh Alice may I hold your hand with my gross sweaty hand. (Giggles)

Oliver: it’s not my fault. I inherit to Dad’s palace.

Katie: you guys are going to respond to me in your texts from now on.

Taylor: that’s not fair.

Katie: Well your talkness is not fair.

Anna-Kat: Ooh you guys are in so much trouble (giggles)

Taylor and Oliver: Ugh Mom.

Katie: Anna-Kat, wait for me upstairs.

Anna-Kat: (looks sad and upset and goes upstairs)

Carly: so what were we talking about?

Sam: our day.

Carly: yeah I was thinking about that.

Elizabeth: so now that Jason and I are a couple we all can share our memories together. (To Oliver) so about Alice McCarthy.

Oliver: oh god.

Taylor: oh that’s so raw.

Elizabeth: well Oliver you’re mother is right. You have to hold Alice’s hand and fall in love with her.

Tara: (opens and closes the door) hello everyone. Is anyone sitting next to Greg?

Katie: Anna-Kat was but she was annoying Taylor and Oliver so she’s in her room. I’ll be upstairs with her in a few minutes but have a seat.

Tara: thank you. (Sits next to Greg) (groans) I’m hungry.

Katie: you want dinner? There’s some steak.

Tara: oh sure. I’ll get it myself. (Get the steak and sits down next to Greg) (eats the steak) holy (bleep) this is so good. Wow. I’m sorry but I love it.

Katie: great. I’ll be right back. (Goes upstairs)

Greg: where are you going?

Katie: to talk to Anna-Kat because she was annoying Taylor and Oliver and now she’s in her room because of it. I told her to wait for me upstairs and she did it. (To Tara) every time I say something to Taylor and Oliver Anna-Kat annoyed them by being on my side so they call me and I tell Anna-Kat to wait for me upstairs in her room.

Tara: wow. Anna-Kat has really lost control.

Katie: I know. (Goes to Anna-Kat’s room) (knocks on Anna-Kat’s door)

Anna-Kat: yeah?

Katie: (opens the door) do you understand why we’re you in here?

Anna-Kat: because I was annoying Taylor and Oliver after you said something about responding to you about texting from now on and then I started annoying them about they’re in so much trouble and I giggled because I love it when they are in trouble and then they called you and you told me to wait for me in my room because I was annoying Taylor and Oliver.

Katie: that’s right. You have to not annoy them after I tell them to do something. You have to think about it before you speak and that’s how it goes.

Anna-Kat: but it’s too much to think about. (Crying)

Katie: listen, (sighs and rubs Anna-Kat’s back while Anna-Kat is still crying) sometimes we cry over being in our rooms right?

Anna-Kat: yes. (Sniffles) the tears always come out when you put me in my room.

Katie: yeah. Because you are doing the wrong thing. You.

Anna-Kat: but it’s not fair. (Continues crying and sniffles)

Katie: hey come here sweetheart. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during their hug while Anna-Kat is still crying) it’s ok. (Both hug more) I understand that it’s not fair I know my baby.

Anna-Kat: I’m sorry. (Sniffles)

Katie: I accept your apology. (Both hug and rub each other’s backs during the hug) it’s ok. Do you wanna go downstairs and be with the entire family now?

Anna-Kat: no. (Continues crying and sniffles)

Katie: aw (both hug more) you don’t wanna go downstairs and be with the entire family now?

Anna-Kat: no. Because there’s a a stranger here. And I’m scared of strangers.

Katie: is that why you wanted to stay in your room? So you don’t have to go downstairs and be with the entire family?

Anna-Kat: yes. I’m not meeting a stranger. (Continues crying and sniffles and they both hug and rub each other’s backs during it)

Katie: oh baby, don’t be scared and sad. It’s ok that you’re crying because your in your room. And I know your crying because of a stranger who’s here in the house, I know. But she’s downstairs in the dining room with everyone else. I think you should go downstairs and meet Tara.

Anna-Kat: who is she? (Sniffles)

Katie: she’s a part of our family. Along with Carly, Sonny, Sam, Molly, Kristina, Elizabeth, Taylor, Oliver, Daddy, Viv, Doris, Angela, Jason, Lulu, Kiki, Ava, Josslyn, Michael, Patrick, Robin, Willow, and everyone else who’s apart of our family.

Anna-Kat: but mama what if she does something bad to me?

Katie: relax. She’s not going to. She is very sweet and caring.

Anna-Kat: but I don’t know mama? I’m scared. (Continues crying nervously and her and Katie hug and rub each other’s backs during it)

Katie: it’s ok. Relax. (Shushes Anna-Kat) it’s ok relax my sweetheart. It’s ok. (She says this while her and Anna-Kat are hugging and rubbing each others backs during their hug) Are you just nervous about her?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. (Continues crying and sniffles nervously) (both hug and rub each other’s backs during it)

Katie: don’t be nervous. It’s ok. (She says this while her and Anna-Kat are hugging) do you want to bring your stuffed animal with you for this thing?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. (Continues being nervous and in sadness)

Katie: it’s ok. Come on. (Her, Anna-Kat and Anna-Kat’s stuffed animal go downstairs to the dining room and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back while Anna-Kat is nervous and scared so Anna-Kat hugs her stuffed animal)

Tara: and then I went to Jamie and then he’s like what the hell is even that?


(Katie and Anna-Kat come downstairs while Anna-Kat is still nervous and scared)

Katie: Tara this is Anna-Kat. Anna-Kat, this is Tara. Our cousin.

Tara: nice to meet you Anna-Kat. (Her and Anna-Kat shake each other’s hands but Anna-Kat gets more scared, nervousness and sadness so Katie hugs her)

Katie: aw. Do you wanna sleep with me in my room tonight?

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm.

Katie: do you wanna sit in the couch now?

Anna-Kat: yeah mama.

Katie: ok. I’ll be right there in 5 minutes ok?

Anna-Kat: ok. (Sits in the couch, hides her hair in her face, gets shy and sad, goes under a blanket and hugs her stuffed animal)

Katie: so a toast to Tara.

(everyone raises their glasses)

Katie: to Tara on her first dinner with us.

(Everyone) cheers. (Clinking each other’s glasses)

Tara: I just wanna say thanks to Katie for inviting me to dinner. And I’m so glad that I’m next to Greg for this one. But this seat is usually Anna-Kat’s seat so yeah but I’m sitting here because she’s in the couch hiding away from us.

Katie: yeah because she’s shy so she’s a little sad, nervous, scared and shy.

Tara: yeah.

Viv: I just wanna say Tara that you are my best friend.

Tara: aw thanks Viv.

Elizabeth: so Tara how are things?

Tara: things are doing good Elizabeth. (To everyone) So I have an announcement for all of you. I got a job.

(everyone clapping)

Tara: thank you. And now I’m rich from now on because I got my money back.

Kiki: wow Tara I’m so glad you came on this first day of dinner with us.

Tara: aw thanks Kiki.

Kristina: yep. And always you can come over to this house because we’re all here for dinner like almost every night.

Taylor: I just wanna say Tara, thanks for coming.

Tara: your welcome Taylor.

Molly: my thing for this is that you are hopeful.

Tara: Aw Molly thanks.

Molly: your welcome.

Sam: so Tara this is where your coming whenever we are coming for dinner wit the ottos?

Tara: yeah. This is where I will be. Westport, Connecticut.

Sam: alright. Cheers to Westport.

(everyone raises their glasses and everyone says the speech) cheers to Westport. (Everyone clinks their glasses to each other)

Katie: I’m gonna go be with Anna-Kat. (Goes with Anna-Kat)

Carly: hey Sonny can you pass me the salt please?

Sonny: sure. (Passes Carly the salt)

Carly: thank you. (Puts salt on her steak)

Anna-Kat: (in the blanket) everybody clap your hands. (Claps her hands)

Katie: I’m back sweetheart.

Anna-Kat: ok mama.

Katie: so I don’t know what do you wanna do.

Anna-Kat: well mama, I love you so much.

Katie: aww I love you too. (Both hug for until everyone is done with their dinner)

Everyone: (having conversations to each other)

Greg: Katie you’re stalking our kids like your hunting a wild animal.

Katie: why aren’t you going to that cotillion dance?

Oliver: like I told dad. It’s gonna be lame.

Katie: (looks at Oliver glarely) sorry buddy. You have it too. The Otto tell.

Greg: when we betray others, our bodies betray us.

Katie: mm-hmm. Spill it.

Greg: now.

Oliver: OK. I don’t want to go anymore because I got someone that I don’t want to be teamed up with.

Katie: who?

Oliver: some girl.

Katie: I want a name.

Oliver: Kimmy Wu.

Katie: Kimmy Wu, size 22.

Greg: wow Oliver. Really? You are going to that cotillion dance and your mother and I are going too.

Katie: and we are gonna be watching non-sucky human beings.

Greg: human beings. I got your back.

Katie: thank you. (Her and Greg walk out of Oliver’s room)

(the day of the party)

Katie: so we are going to throw a party for...well we’re just throwing a party.

Anna-Kat: yay. (Clapping)

Katie: yep. I texted everyone so they’ll be here

(Everyone comes in)

Carly: hey Katie.

Katie: hey Carly, Sonny, Josslyn, Michael, Willow, Molly, Sam, Kristina, Elizabeth, Jason, Patrick, Robin and everyone else who is here.

(when Tara comes in)

Tara: (opens and closes the door) hello? Katie are you here? Why are the lights out did she lose power or something? (Reads her letter) turn on the light. There is something for you. (Turns on the light)

Everyone: SURPRISE!

Tara: holy (bleep)

Katie: this surprise is just for you. Happy moving to Westport day. (Both hug)

(cheers and applause)

Katie: alright. Everyone can hop along. I’m so glad you’re here in Westport.

Tara: well thanks Katie.

(4:30 PM)

(in distinct conversations)

Doris: well Tara welcome to Westport.

Tara: thanks Doris.

Angela: yep welcome.

Tara: thanks Angela. This is why Katie built an amazing party for me.

(5:15 PM)

Katie: alright. Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.

Kristina: oh (bleep)

Katie: here she is the amazing Anna-Kat.

Everyone: (cheers)

Anna-Kat: thank you thank you everybody. (Giggles) and now I the amazing Anna-Kat will make this popcorn disappear. Abracadabra. (Makes the popcorn disappear and then it re appears) ta-da.

Everyone: (cheers)

(6:55 PM)

Katie: and now it’s time for pizza.

Everyone; (cheers)

(7:15 PM)

Katie: alright Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for singing and Tara the song and then, we will have some cake. Ready everybody, 1,2,3.

Everyone: (singing) happy moving to Westport day to you, happy moving to Westport day to you, happy moving to Westport day dear Tara, happy moving to Westport day to you.

(Cheers and applause)

(both Tara and Katie hug and Anna-Kat and Katie hug)