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The Pig Whisperer is the sixth episode of the second season of American Housewife, and the twenty-ninth episode overall. Written by Sarah Dunn and directed by Rebecca Asher, it aired on November 1, 2017.

Plot[]

When Katie insists that Greg get rid of Hans Gruber, Greg tries to show her the pig can become more well-behaved by hiring Dirk the Pig Whisperer. Meanwhile, Oliver faces competition for Spencer's attention (and money) when Viv sees the rich old man as a way back to her old social status. Also, Taylor considers dating a senior behind Eyo's back.

This episode starts with Greg, Anna-Kat and Hans Gruber watching a show on TV. Katie is still upset with Hans Gruber staying at the house, but Anna-Kat is very happy. Katie sneaks on Taylor’s phone which he is texting someone behind Eyo’s back. His name is John Reese and he is a senior. Taylor takes her phone from Katie who is she is gonna stay forever about the conversation that they were having. Viv tries to steal Oliver away by planning him to dinner. Which makes Oliver jealous of Spencer and Viv. Oliver blames Katie for sending Viv over to Spencer’s house for dinner. Taylor asks Katie if she dated two guys at the same time before. Greg talks to Katie that he is doubling down on training Hans Gruber. Oliver confronts Katie about Spencer. She will not break them apart. And He knows how that sounds. Oliver and Spencer are playing video games at Spencer’s house. Katie and Greg start to kiss with the door open, but Taylor stops them so she can go to John Reese’s house for a party he’s planning. Katie and Greg go toes to nose about the pig fight they are having. Katie talks to the girls about how her and Greg first fell in love. Viv meets another guy. Oliver tells Spencer about it. Spencer gets something for him and Oliver to eat. Taylor will text John Reese and give him some closer right after she tells Katie and Greg she will stop seeing him. She might go dark to annoy Katie and Greg. At the last scene, Katie and Greg see Hans Gruber on the couch were he vibes.

Whatever this is, you shouldn’t be doing it with the door open. Taylor to Katie and Greg.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Starring[]

Trivia[]

  • The title of this episode is a reference to the film "The Horse Whisperer".
  • This is the only episode in which an animal whisperer appears in the show.
  • Eyo is mentioned but does not appear in this episode.
  • This is the fifth episode in which Taylor disrespects Katie.
  • The cast of General Hospital and The Office do not appear in this episode.

Gallery[]


Quotes[]

Taylor: (texting to a different person other than Eyo)

Katie: why are you texting someone who isn’t you’re nice sweet boyfriend Eyo?

Anna-Kat: (to Taylor) Ooh you’re in so much trouble. (Giggles)

Katie: who is he?

Taylor: I’m not telling you anything.

Katie: OK then I’ll just FaceTime him.

Taylor: Mom, give it back.

Katie: Mm-mm

Taylor: Mom, give me back my phone. You know what fine. His name is Jon Reese and he’s a senior.

Katie: A senior? It’s that’s the best thing they have to say about him then it’s just

Greg: (opens door)

Katie: Ah the McRib is back.

Taylor: (takes her phone from Katie and runs away)

Katie: (gasps) I’m gonna stay on you forever about this Taylor. I’m more like herpes.

Katie narrating: what the hell comes out of your mouth sometimes Katie?

Anna-Kat: see mama? He’s not expensive. He eats garbage. (Giggles)

Katie: (sighs) it’s every mother’s dream to have a farm animal be in our house.

Katie: why are you still dating John Reese?

Anna-Kat: Ooh Taylor’s in so much trouble (giggles)

Taylor: Mom, why is Anna-Kat still annoying me? I’ve had enough with it.

Katie: Anna-Kat you lost a tally. (Erases the tally off the reward systems list)

Anna-Kat: Alright I’m sorry.

Katie: it’s too late. You lost one. Your working for a stuffed animal. Right?

Anna-Kat: yes mama.

Katie: thanks sweetheart. But don’t worry. Once it’s the end of the year, you’ll get it. OK?

Anna-Kat: OK. (Walks away)

Taylor: thanks Mom.

Katie: your welcome sweetheart. Anytime. (Both Katie and Taylor hug) ready? 1,2,3 Alexa put on come and get it.

Alexa: come and get it by Selena Gomez.

(Selena Gomez’s Come and get it playing)

(Katie and Taylor singing) when you’re ready come and get it. Na na na na. Na na na na. Na na na na. When you’re ready come and get it. Na na na na. Na na na na. Na na na na. When you’re ready? When you’re ready? When you’re ready come and get it. Na na na na. Na na na na. Na na na na.


Oliver: it was you.

Katie: what’s that now?

Oliver: you sent Viv over to Spencer’s so she can squeeze me out of the picture. I was his only friend in the world until this came along.

Viv: hi.

Oliver: it’s not gonna work. Spencer and I have something special together and I’m not gonna let you two get between us.

(Katie and Viv smile annoyingly at Oliver and Oliver glares at them)



Katie: can someone tell me this is cream cheese? Someone wrote this is not cream cheese on it.

Taylor: Mom, you dated two guys at the same time before right?

Katie: yeah of course. Wait..no. Ugh this is not cream cheese. Hold that thought what are you doing?

Oliver: fighting for my man. I’m gonna introduce Spencer to the 21st century using the very Xbox Viv gave me.

Katie: stay out of Viv’s way. She needs Spencer more than you do.

Oliver: how do you figure?

Katie: a woman like Viv when she sees an opportunity doesn’t come up but she’s the opportunity.

Oliver: she’s only after his money, which is gonna be my money. MINE!

Katie: Oliver, for the last time.

Hans Gruber: (jumps happily)

Katie: those aren’t even m&ms.

Greg: Hans Gruber.

Katie: you know it’s not easy for me to jump on this counter Greg

Greg: do you know that weird guy?

Katie: you mean the one where the guy stopped that thing?

Anna-Kat: and drove them all the way to Maine and set them free by that beautiful lake? Because if so, it’s totally funny. (Giggles)

Greg: I’m doubling down on training Hans Gruber. Everyone expects me to fold this is me not folding. (Him and Anna-Kat walk away)

Oliver: and you need to get used to me and Spencer being together. You will not break us apart. And I know how that sounds. (Walks away)

Katie: (offended)

Oliver: now head into the jungle village and don’t shoot anyone who isn’t holding a gun.

Spencer: this new technology is unbelievable. I’ll just get her in the arm. Ooh right in the forehead.


Anna-Kat: (wakes up, makes nervous sounds and goes to the bathroom puking)

Katie: (wakes up and goes to the bathroom) Anna-Kat, are you OK?

Anna-Kat: no.

Katie: what’s wrong?

Anna-Kat: I threw up because I wasn’t feeling well. (Continues puking)

Katie: aww sweetheart. (Touches Anna-Kat’s back and rubs it while Anna-Kat is still puking)

Anna-Kat: I have been breathing lots of times because of the puke I feel and it’s freaking me out so I started puking a minute ago.

Katie: I know baby. I know. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug) do you want me to take your temperature?

Anna-Kat: (nervously) uh-huh. I’m getting nervous.

Katie: don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll be right back. (Gets the thermometer) (takes Anna-Kat’s temperature) (beeps) it sounds like you have a little bit of a fever.

Anna-Kat: (gasps sadly) now I’ll never feel better.

Katie: don’t worry. I hope you feel better soon. Do you want to sleep with me and daddy in my room now?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: did you know that you’re having the same pjs on the day I told you to sign up for an after school club?

Anna-Kat: yeah. But I have my belly button out because I was hot.

Katie: I know you were hot. do you want to bring your stuffed animal with you?

Anna-Kat: (gets sad) uh-huh.

Katie: aww my little sweetheart. It’s ok. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug) come on. Go get your stuffed animal from your room and come with me. (Anna-Kat gets her stuffed animal then Katie sees her)

Katie: you got your stuffed animal sweetie?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: that’s sweet and awesome my little sweetheart. Come on. (Her and Anna-Kat go to Katie and Greg’s room) GREG?

Greg: yes Katie?

Katie: I need a pillow for Anna-Kat.

Greg: what’s wrong?

Katie: she threw up and she wants to be here for now until she feels better.

Greg: OK. (Gives Katie the pillow)

Katie: thank you.

Greg: you’re welcome.

Katie: (to Anna-Kat) come on sweetie. (Her and Anna-Kat go on Katie’s bed and they go to sleep)

Katie: (gives Anna-Kat a kiss) I love you so much.

Anna-Kat: I love you so much too. (Both sleep)


Katie: morning sweetheart.

Anna-Kat: morning mama.

Katie: feel better now?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh.

Katie: good. I’m glad to hear that. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug)



Taylor: (to Katie and Greg) whatever this is? You shouldn’t be doing it with the door open.


Katie: the pig has got to go.

Greg: NO!!

Katie: YES!!!

Greg: ladies I’m sorry to dissolve my marriage. (Picks up Hans Gruber) excuse me while I storm off with my pig. (Walks away angrily)


Katie: (crying) but Greg it’s been keeping me up for the past few minutes I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please? (Gives Greg puppy eyes while Katie is still crying)

Greg: (touches Katie’s back and rubs it while Katie is still crying) Katie, I will always forgive you my little angel. And it’s ok. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be here for you. Always. And no matter what, I’m sorry too.

Katie: (crying) I know but it’s not fair when you have an animal and I don’t and it’s not fair.

Greg: but Katie honey, sometimes we have pets and animals. Like what Anna-Kat and I have. Hans Gruber. Right?

Katie: (sniffles) right.

Greg: Katie, (hugs Katie while Katie is still crying) it’s ok. Aww. (Singing) my little Katie, I will never forget about you. And your smile always makes me smile and happy. And your laughs always makes me laugh and smile. (Talking) that is how my song for you works.

Katie: (continues crying)

Greg: (talking) Katie listen, (rubs Katie’s back when he says something) I’ve known you for a long time and I don’t know what if you were still going to be on the phone with your friends and family. But I’m always there for you and your always there for me and I don’t want you to be sad all the time. I want you to be happy all the time and you have to do it for me and you know what you want to do with your life and my life. When we got married, you were so happy and very proud of yourself and I am too. The laughs you made, the kissing we did and the hugging we did. I love you so much and I would never let you down always. The kids are in the living room and they are still going to be there for the next week. They are always here because they live with us and we are their parents. We have been their parents since Taylor was born and Oliver was born and Anna-Kat was born. So Katie you know what if your phone is still going there for you and your family and your friends are going to be there for you and your joy and the kids are going to be there for you and thanksgiving. You have a good life and a great memory. I’m not going anywhere so I will always be here for you. We always kiss each other and we always hug each other. And maybe every day I can bring you a little present so it can make your more happier. And every time you cry, I will be here for you. Always. And we sometimes. It get along but we always have each other’s backs always. And your my wife and best friend it hurts me when you are sad. And sometimes I can talk to you always if something is wrong. So I can do it on my way to the clock and the clock in the first tour of our house will always show us. I think you were a little harsh with me over Hans Gruber. I can always think about you every time I go to the grocery store. So I think we’re done with it now. We’re moving on to something else that we will be doing for thanksgiving later in the month. Your mom is always there for you as well. And I am too. OK?

Katie: OK.

Greg: does that make you feel better?

Katie: uh-huh. Thanks honey.

Greg: your welcome. Anything for my wife.

(both giggle, kiss and hug)

(the day of the closure between Taylor and John Reese)

(8:30 AM)

Katie: what’s going on?

Greg: Taylor told me she’s gonna stop texting John Reese.

Taylor: yeah it’s not fair to Eyo.

Katie: good for you honey.

Greg: yeah well done.

Taylor: maybe I should text John and give him some closure...nah I’m just gonna go dark. (Walks upstairs)

(Katie and Greg are offended because Taylor’s going dark with John Reese)

Katie: by the way, just got off the phone with your Mom.

Greg: you picked up when my Mom called?

Katie: it’s just nonsense egregious. She called about the dog.

Greg: Katie

Katie: don’t get mad. You wanted the pig to stay so he can stay.

Greg: (offended) well!

(the day after the closure)

(9:45 AM)

Anna-Kat: (comes downstairs all sad)

Katie: morning baby. What’s wrong?

Anna-Kat: I’m just sad today.

Katie: you are?

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm.

Katie: is it like a sad day for you?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: (sighs and touches Anna-Kat’s hands) listen, I know you’re sad because you are I know that.

Anna-Kat: (starts crying) I am. (Crying)

Katie: aw my baby princess sweetheart, come here. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during it) it’s ok. I know you’re having a sad day today I get it. It’s ok to be on the waterworks if you are it’s ok that you are crying because of a sad day I know.

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm. (Sniffles and continues crying)

Katie: don’t be. I love you so much and I don’t want you to cry because you’re having a sad day. I know you’re having a sad day. And I know you’re crying because of it I know. I love you always with all my heart. My valentine.

Anna-Kat: (sniffles) my valentine. (Goes upstairs to her room and gets her stuffed animal bird when she is still crying, comes downstairs to Katie and hugs her stuffed animal bird and Katie while she is still crying)

Taylor: hey Mom, I’m gonna head out.

Katie: OK. Have fun.

Taylor: thanks. (Opens and closes the door)

Katie: my little princess sweetheart it’s ok. Look at your tallies. (Shows Anna-Kat the reward systems list) so is it I’m crying because I’m having a sad day?

Anna-Kat: yes. (Continues crying and sniffles during her waterworks)

Katie: aw. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during their hug while Anna-Kat is still crying and Anna-Kat’s stuffed bird joins in with Anna-Kat holding it during the hug) and you have your stuffed animal bird with you. That’s lovely.

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm. (Sniffles)

Katie: I know what can cheer you up during your sad day. You wanna watch a movie with me?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: OK. Wanna watch Frozen?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: come on. You can bring your stuffed animal bird with you.

Anna-Kat: ok. (Her and Katie watch Frozen)

(2 PM)

Anna-Kat: hey mama, can Penny and I have a play date now?

Katie: sure. That can also be a part of your reward systems list.

Anna-Kat: (gasps happily) yay. Penny, my mom said we can have a play date.

Penny: (gasps happily, her and Anna-Kat scream and they both giggle)

(2:23 PM)

Chloe: (rings the doorbell)

Katie: (answers the door) Chloe.

Chloe: Katie.

Anna-Kat: (all happy) Penny.

Penny: (all happy) Anna-Kat. (Both scream, giggle and hug while giggling) I’m so happy you’re here.

Anna-Kat: I’m so happy you’re here. (Both giggle more and go upstairs to Anna-Kat’s room and they both play stuffed animals with each other)

Katie: thanks for bringing Penny here.

Chloe: well thanks for having Penny over.

Katie: your welcome. (Closes the door and sits on the couch watching a movie that she loves to watch)

Penny: (as Anna-Kat’s stuffed animal dog) I’m so happy sweetie.

Anna-Kat: (as her stuffed animal bird) thanks. I’m so happy too. (Both giggle and hug)

Anna-Kat and Penny: (gasp) BFF selfie. (Both take a picture with Penny’s phone and they both giggle and hug)

Taylor: (sleeping in her room)

(3 PM)

Katie: (to Anna-Kat and Penny) girls, lunchtime.

Anna-Kat and Penny: (gasp happily) lunch time. Yay. (Both giggle while going downstairs to eat lunch)

Katie: ok. So a sandwich for Anna-Kat and a sandwich for Penny.

Penny: thanks Mrs Otto.

Anna-Kat: thanks mama.

Katie: your welcome. Enjoy. (Walks upstairs to her room and let’s the girls enjoy their lunch)

(Anna-Kat and Penny eat their lunch and giggle quietly)

Katie: I get some watchable with those giggly girls and then I watch some fabulous movies with this popcorn.

Anna-Kat: (as her stuffed animal bird) well then let’s see.

Penny: (as Anna-Kat’s stuffed animal dog) ok. So here. I picked out your clothes for you.

Anna-Kat: (as her stuffed animal bird) ok daddy.

Penny: (as Anna-Kat’s stuffed animal dog) ok. Now get dressed sweetie. I don’t want you to be late.

Katie: girls, wanna watch a movie?

Anna-Kat and Penny: (gasp happily) a movie? Yay. Let’s bring our stuffed animals. Yeah. (Both giggle while bringing their stuffed animals downstairs to the living room)

Katie: so we’ll watch some despicable me.

Anna-Kat and Penny: (gasp happily and clap their hands)

Katie: hmm, I’ll get you guys some popcorn.

Anna-Kat: ok mama.

Katie: (heats up some popcorn for Anna-Kat and Penny) popcorn’s ready. (Puts on despicable me for the girls)

(Anna-Kat and Penny watch despicable me and eat popcorn during the movie)

(4:45 PM)

Anna-Kat: (sighs) that movie is my favorite.

Penny: so is mine.

(both giggle and hug)

Anna-Kat and Penny: (gasp) let’s massage each other’s feet. (Both massage each other’s feet) (both say this paragraph during the feet massage) it feels so good. (Both giggle during the massage for their feet)

(the day after)

(12:45 PM)

Anna-Kat: (hugging her stuffed animal shimmer from miss spider’s sunny patch friends)

Katie: Anna-Kat you love your stuffed animal shimmer from miss spider’s sunny patch friends.

Anna-Kat: uh-huh.

Katie: that’s good my favorite princess.

Anna-Kat: (giggles and continues hugging her stuffed animal shimmer from miss spider’s sunny patch friends) hey shimmer, maybe mama has lunch going on for us. (As her stuffed animal shimmer from miss spider’s sunny patch friends) uh-huh. And Anna-Kat, I also have my sandwich from earlier your mom have me. (As herself) yeah. Mama always gets my lunch every day. She always gets it because she loves me so much.

Katie: Anna-Kat, lunchtime.

Anna-Kat: ok mama. (Goes to the table)

Katie: (serves Anna-Kat her lunch)

Anna-Kat: what’s this?

Katie: Turkey sandwich. It also has green beans.

Anna-Kat: I don’t know if I like green beans?

Katie: well try them. You might like them.

Anna-Kat: (tries the green beans) (gagging)

Katie: not good?

Anna-Kat: no.

Katie: ok. But I’m proud of you for trying them.

Anna-Kat: thanks mama.

Katie: your welcome. You want baked ziti on the side with your sandwich?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. (Gagging)

Katie: ok come. (Both hug while Anna-Kat is still gagging) just keep gagging it’s ok just let it out. Do you feel like your gonna throw up?

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm.

Katie: ok let’s go to the garbage can.

Anna-Kat: ok. (Goes to the garbage can and starts puking)

Katie: ok I know. (Rubs Anna-Kat’s back while Anna-Kat is still puking) it’s ok. Your still having your lunch. Right?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: do you wanna finish it and have your baked ziti with your sandwich?

Anna-Kat: yeah. (Continues puking)

Katie: ok. Just let it out my favorite person. It’s ok cuckoo pants.

(30 minutes later)

Katie: Anna-Kat baked ziti is ready.

Anna-Kat: (comes downstairs to eat her sandwich and baked ziti) (talks while eating) thanks mama.

Katie: your welcome just don’t talk with food in your mouth ok and chew with your mouth closed. OK?

Anna-Kat: ok mama. I’m sorry.

Katie: I accept your apology. (Both hug)

Anna-Kat: (continues eating her sandwich and baked ziti)

Katie: I’m gonna sit with you ok?

Anna-Kat: ok.

Katie: you can have your belly button out too.

Anna-Kat: ok. (Has her belly button out and continues eating her sandwich and baked ziti)

Katie: (smiles at Anna-Kat)

Anna-Kat: (acts like a weirdo and giggles while acting like a weirdo and eats while acting like a weirdo)

(the day after)

(11:45 AM)

Katie: this might be the last one for our kids.

Greg: yeah. It’s their last shot ever.

Katie: yeah. (Both laugh)

Taylor: (rudely) oh so now it’s the last one?

Katie: what are you talking about?

Taylor: (rudely) us giving us up between relationships, animals and everything that we own. I can’t believe why you didn’t let me see John Reese.

Oliver: (to Katie rudely) I can’t believe you wanted Viv to see Spencer instead of me.

Anna-Kat: (to Katie rudely) I can’t believe you wanted Hans Gruber to leave.

Taylor: (rudely) and you tried to understand not letting us see our friends and stuff? Wow Mom that was unacceptable.

Oliver: (rudely) you have any idea about how to keep your mouth shut? You are sometimes a bitch.

Katie narrating: why am I letting my kids down? Every day I had to do it and I did it again.

Taylor: (rudely) I was going to see John Reese and you forbid me from seeing him and I hated it when you did it. The next time you do something bad to us three, try keeping your legs crossed. Because now, we have had enough with you. (Her, Oliver and Anna-Kat go upstairs glaring at Katie)

Katie: (sighs offendly)

Katie narrating: every time I do something wrong to my kids, they all confront me and Greg. But he’s not here. So they confronted me.

References[]

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