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Blondetourage[1] is the eleventh episode of the second season of American Housewife, and the thirty-fourth episode overall. Written by Donald Diego and directed by Melissa Kosar, it aired on January 3, 2018.


The episode starts were Taylor and Ellen are doing homework for their test. Katie and Greg are so glad that Taylor and Ellen are still friends. Oliver wants Katie to buy some sneakers at Payless. In the school scene, Oliver is asking Katie that why are we matching. Katie says buy 1 get 1 free at Payless. Oliver feels the therapy bills adding to every step, which makes Oliver very mad at Katie. Taylor asks Katie if she can dye her hair blonde again? Which makes Katie be disrespectful to her, then Taylor asks her could the founder of sucktown look good as a blonde. Taylor then says See? Same conversation now. Think about it. Which makes Katie very disappointed in the two for what they said. Anna-Kat doesn’t want Katie to walk her in to school anymore. The three kids have ruined Katie’s life. Anna-Kat gets ready for a tornado, but Katie tells her that she will be here to protect you. Then she hugs Anna-Kat while Greg asks Katie how did this book get under her pillow. Taylor asks Katie if she can dye her hair blonde again. Katie agrees and lets Taylor to be blonde, which makes Oliver offended. Katie tells Anna-Kat that if she wants to sleep in Katie’s bed tonight and she agrees to be safe. Katie and Greg find Oliver and Cooper in the little dollhouse, which makes Katie and Greg very angry at them for what they did. Katie tells Oliver to go home, straight to his room, and wait for her in fear, while Katie tells Cooper to go home and not to go to the otto’s house for a month. Katie and Greg find Taylor and the blondetourage, The parents are very angry at the girls for what they did, especially Taylor because She told Katie that she’s going to hangout with Ellen and she ditched her for a better offer. Taylor lied to her parents for that. Taylor apologizes to Ellen, but Ellen ends the friendship with Taylor. Then, Katie and Greg ground her for a week. For that week, her only friends are lamp, bed and wall. Katie and Greg then confront Oliver for what he did. Taylor repayed him, but that was a lie. So Katie and Greg take the money that Oliver made from his phone scheme. Katie and Greg then talk about Anna-Kat. Katie goes to Anna-Kat’s room and talks about the tornadoes that happen in Westport Connecticut. Katie is very proud of Anna-Kat for what she did today. Anna-Kat is growing up and showing some independence. Katie tells Anna-Kat that she doesn’t get a punishment. She doesn’t get grounded because she did the right thing. Katie tells her that she doesn’t need Katie to walk her into school anymore. Anna-Kat tells Katie she’s the best and they both hug. Anna-Kat is safe from being grounded so Taylor and Oliver are in Jeopardy. In the last scene, Katie tells Taylor that she can keep her blonde hair.


Main Cast[]

Guest Starring[]

  • Bebe Wood as Ellen
  • Logan Pepper as Cooper Bradford
  • Lena Torluemke as Zola
  • Brianna Askins as Summit
  • Sterling Griffith as Londyn


  • This is the first episode with Summit, Londyn, and Zola (AKA The Blondetourage).
  • This is the only episode where we see Ellen
  • Katie tries to convince Anna-Kat that tornadoes can't happen in Connecticut, because they're too far east from "Tornado Alley." However tornadoes have occurred within the state, including in Fairfield County where Westport is located.[2]
  • From now on, Taylor will have blonde hair for the rest of the series.
  • This is the sixth episode in which Taylor disrespects Katie.
  • It is mentioned that Taylor is 16.




Ellen: ok. Last chance to cramp before the test tomorrow. What are the periodic symbols for table salt?

Taylor: SA-LT.

Ellen: (nods her head)

Katie: I’m so glad Taylor and Ellen are still friends. So you’re hanging out with Ellen?

Taylor: yeah. Maybe I might leave her for the rest of my life.

Katie: Taylor you can’t do that to Ellen. I am raising high quality non-sucky human beings.

Taylor: (rolls her eyes angrily)

Katie: don’t you roll your eyes at me.

Taylor: I can roll my eyes whenever I want because I do it and it’s because of you. So you’re roasted.

Katie: (sighs offendly)

Oliver: Mom, I desperately need these sneakers. (Shows Katie the shoes) so I’m offering to you you need me to buy my love.

Cooper: golden goose sneakers. Comfort.

Oliver: style.

Cooper: sex appeal.

Katie: we get it. He wants the shoes.

Cooper: or buenos trans.

Katie: say it and die Cooper.

Oliver: ok Mom. We’ve had enough of you insulting us so we’re gonna go because you won’t shut the hell up. (Him and Cooper walk away)

Katie: (sighs offendly) why am I failing my parenting for my older kids?

Oliver: why are we matching?

Katie: because we are. Buy one get one free at Payless. Twinsies.

Anna-Kat: Ooh twinsies style. (Giggles)

Oliver: (rudely) I can feel the therapy bills adding up with every step. (Walks away)

Katie: (groans and gets offended)

Anna-Kat: (gets sad because of what Oliver said to Katie)

Katie: Taylor, I thought you were gonna hang out with Ellen on Saturday.

Taylor: I got a better offer. I can hang out with Ellen another night. Her calendar is wide open for her schedule.

Katie: Taylor not only you live in sucktown but you're it's founder. and You own the diner over own suck street and do you know how your food tastes? It sucks.

Anna-Kat: Ooh Taylor you are in so much trouble. (Giggles)

Taylor: ugh Mom

Katie: Anna-Kat, does this have things to do with you?

Anna-Kat: no.

Katie: then stay out of this because if you don’t, your losing a tally off the rewards list. Remember what you’re working for? Right?

Anna-Kat: (sighs) right. (looks extremely upset and sad and walks upstairs to school)

Katie: (rudely) you know that you suck a lot because everyone knows you’re a sucker.

Taylor: (rudely smiles at Katie) can I dye my hair blonde again?

Katie: what conversation are you in?

Taylor: OK let me rephrase. Do you think the founder of sucktown would look good as a blonde?

Katie: (looks at Taylor grossly)

Taylor: (rudely) See? Same conversation now. Think about it. (Smiles rudely at Katie and walks away)

Katie: (looks offended and mad)

Katie narrating: this town may have corrupted my other two, but I still have my baby.

Katie: sweetie, I’m sorry I didn’t walk you in.

Anna-Kat: that’s OK.

Katie: no it’s not. Ever since you read electrical stories your too scared to walk alone on opening spaces. I’m your lightning rod. I’m taller than you and I got a mouthful of fillings.

Anna-Kat: yeah but walking me is a lot of work for you.

Katie: I don’t mind.

Anna-Kat: ugh god you’re not making this easy. (Sighs) listen. I don’t want you walking me into school anymore.

Katie: (gasps sadly)

Anna-Kat: it’s not you it’s me.

Katie: (rudely) of course it’s you. You can’t even read a clock.

Anna-Kat: OK lashing out I expected that.

Katie: (offended)

Anna-Kat: see you round. (Walks away)

Katie: (sighs offendly)

Katie: (about Anna-Kat) I have seen her through everything. The fear of water, the fear of the basement, the ham-hiding.

Doris: so that’s why you’re couch smells like that?

Katie: no. Wish it were. And now she’s tossed me aside into one of those husbands whose wives got into law school and soon as they’ve been partnered, left them for some better.

Angela: I totally did that to Celeste. Man she did not see that coming.

Katie: on top of that, Oliver is becoming more materialistic and Taylor cares more about dying her hair blonde, than her friend’s feelings. And I ordered salad like a dumbass. Angela were switching.

Angela: she just took my pancakes.

Doris: haha.

Angela: but on the bright side, Taylor does look better blonde.

Doris: ugh! And people always think little blond kids are so cute which is the hair. I mean Brittany Thompson’s kids. Have you have many influences? HAVE YOU?

Katie: guys focus. This town is messing with my family. What do I do?

Doris: take a picture of Angela’s book, don’t worry about who’s friends are theirs till the results come.

Angela: but learn from our mistakes. If you fill somebody’s photo and then memorize, (chuckles) less kids go to vibe.

Katie: hmm.

Doris: this one, totally nurturer.

Molly: what if Taylor wants to be a great blondie and we were rich?

Kristina: that’d be great because money changes people.

Molly: exactly. Because since we moved to Westport, Anna-Kat has been cuckoo pants.

Kristina: what the hell does that even mean?

Molly: it means you’re very happy and giggly.

Kristina: damn. She can be giggly.

Molly: yeah. She loves to giggle.

Kristina: (about Taylor) because Katie can’t even let her so she tricked her and she disrespected her.

Molly: I hope she did because Katie should be thinking about her own actions.

Kristina: yep. Even if she’s a parent.

Molly: (smiles rudely)

Carly: so Taylor can find Ellen to figure out how is she gonna be doing this? She can’t ditch her for a better offer.

Sonny: nope. Because if she ditched Ellen, she has no one to blame but herself.

Carly: yeah we don’t give a damn about it.

Sonny: nope. We do not.

Anna-Kat: (comes out of school crying)

Katie: hey what’s wrong?

Anna-Kat: you should’ve walked me into school and now it’s too much. (Continues crying)

Katie: aw my baby princess sweetheart come here. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during it) I’m always here for you. It’s ok to cry because of what you said to me I understand.

Anna-Kat: ok. I’m sorry that I lashed out at you for me that I don’t want you waking me into school anymore. I’m sorry. (Continues crying)

Katie: I accept your apology. Come here. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during it while Anna-Kat is still crying) it’s ok. Taylor and Oliver aren’t here. Do you wanna sit in the front seat with me to cheer you up?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. (Continues crying and sniffles) I feel very sad. (Continues crying)

Katie: I know (rubs Anna-Kat’s back) it’s ok.

(in the car)

Katie: listen, sometimes we don’t let people walk themselves into school anymore. Right?

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm. (Sniffles)

Katie: (touches Anna-Kat’s hands) and it’s ok that’s we cry over it and I know that walking you is a lot of work for you I understand. But sometimes we cry over it just like you are right now, and here you are. You are 8 years old and you have to get a hold on to me and yourself. So

Anna-Kat: but I don’t know about it and now I could’ve been a little nervous but I was and now I am. (Continues crying)

Katie: aw my baby princess sweetheart it’s ok. Are you just sad because of what you said to me?

Anna-Kat: (nods and continues crying tears of sadness)

Katie: (rubs Anna-Kat’s back while Anna-Kat is still crying tears of sadness) I know my baby princess sweetheart it’s ok.

Greg: so Anna-Kat how are things?

Anna-Kat: I’m getting ready for a tornado.

Greg: you don’t have to worry about tornadoes.

Anna-Kat: (rudely) oh yeah? Well Mark Holleben got hit by a tornado and got depicted by his own boot.

Katie: uh-uh-uh. We don’t talk to daddy like that kind of behavior. We talk nicely to him. And you shouldn’t talk to any adult like that. What are you working for?

Anna-Kat: a stuffed animal.

Katie: then act like it please.

Anna-Kat: ok mama. I’m sorry.

Katie: I accept your apology. Come here. (Both hug)

Greg: Anna-Kat, where did you get this book?

Anna-Kat: under my pillow.

Greg: under your pillow? You can’t shut people like that.

Anna-Kat: ok but I’m sorry the tornado is gonna burn our house down and I’m so scared. (Gets apprehensive of the tornado)

Katie: hey, listen, mama is always gonna be here to protect you. (Both hug while Anna-Kat is still apprehensive of the tornado)

Taylor: hey mom cute outfit you’re looking hot today.

Oliver: (about Taylor) she’s just giving you compliments because she wants something from you.

Taylor: no I’m not. Totally unrelated. Can I dye my hair blonde? Remember how awesome I looked?

Katie narrating: Taylor does look good with blonde hair. Not on those ratting terms of scattering people. But in parenting, no one gives a crap about it.

Katie: OK. You can dye your hair blonde.

Taylor: what? Really?

Oliver: that worked?

Katie: mm-hmm.

Oliver: Mom, are you using a new night frame because you’re skin is eye yeye yeye.

Katie: I’m not buying you those shoes. You can dye your hair blonde only if you start making more adult decisions, such as being nicer to old friends.

Taylor: got it. When an opportunity comes up I’ll be nicer to an old friend.

Katie: but an opportunity has to come up.

Taylor: (sighs and hugs Oliver) love you old buddy.

Katie: no Taylor think. Friends, Ellen, Saturday,

Taylor: (whispers about it)

Oliver: this is something.

Taylor: oh Ellen. I was wrong to ditch her after I made plans with her.

Katie: so instead of hanging with Summit, Londyn and Zola tonight, you’ll hang with...El

Taylor: I’ll hang out with Ellen.

Katie: because of that unnatural Westport response you can dye your hair blonde.

Taylor: THANK YOU! (Both Katie and Taylor hug)

Oliver: there’s no way you’re blowing off that party.

Taylor: duh the girls and I came up with a genius plan so Mom will never know.

Oliver: the last time you came up with a genius plan, you crushed up Cheetos and put them all over your soup.

Taylor: I say I’m at Ellen’s, Zola says she’s at our house, Summit will says she’s at Zola’s and Londyn will say she’s at Summit’s. Perfect crime.

Oliver: your as dumb as your friend’s names. Mom tracks you by the GPS on your phone. And there’s only one way to do that. And the only way is to sneak out of the house.

Katie: Taylor I let you be blonde and now you blew it up. You’re now the Mayor of sucktown and you won in a landslide.

Zola: congratulations.

Katie: here are your phones. I’ve already called all your parents.

Taylor: Mom, I can’t believe you did that.

Summit: Mitzy’s gonna (bleep)

Katie: Mitzy should, and you wanna know why? Because it’s extremely dangerous you’re 16 year old girls.

Greg: you girls can’t be going anywhere without telling your parents.

Katie: you would’ve been roofied.

Greg: Katie, maybe we shouldn’t be yelling at somebody else’s kids.

Katie: this is why in America people don’t yell at somebody else’s kids. You’ve would’ve been kidnapped forced to ability, shipped off to Singapore and made to work in a brothel. That happens.

Greg: what my wife is trying to say is the world needs more energy but it’s good to be aware of dangers.

Katie: have you all seem room?

Summit: no.

Londyn: it seems sad.

Katie: of course it’s sad. But that’s your future ladies. If your gonna act up like some old guy is gonna lock you up in a shed somewhere, then your only friends are gonna be lamp and bed and wall.

Greg: what my wife is trying to say is despite the presidence of the year room is a fantastic film Brie Larson is a tour deforce.

Katie: Taylor, you are grounded for the next month.

Taylor: wait whoa whoa whoa whoa what if we cut a deal?

Katie: Oliver already sold you out.

Taylor: damn it.

Greg: Ellen was your first friend in Westport the only friend who gave you the time of day and you ditched her for a better offer. Lying to us, that’s a teenage thing. Ditching Ellen, that’s a character thing.

Katie: when I was in high school, I was so popular. But I was still nice to everyone even the banned nerds and drama losers. And if we’ve would’ve been for tweebs, you’ve never been born.

Greg; that’s right.

Katie: now go on. Apologize to you friend.

Taylor: hey Ellen.

Ellen: (sighs) hey.

Taylor: look I’m sorry I ditched you. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and lately I haven’t been a good friend. But if your ever willing to play scrabble with me again, I like that.

Ellen: too bad Taylor. I have a little thing called self respect. And I pretended cray is a word for the last time. (Sighs) enjoy your new friends and your new hair. (Walks away) I’m sorry Mrs Otto I took a toothbrush and added some oxygen to the ground and countertops but I didn’t have time to do the island.

Katie: that’s ok Ellen. You can come back Thursday.

Ellen: ok.

Greg: upstairs, bedroom. For the next four weeks your only friends are gonna be lamp, bed and wall.

(Door shuts)

Taylor: (walks upstairs)

Katie: the disgraced mayor of sucktown has been forced to step down.

Greg: now let’s go talk to the governor of suckachussets.

Katie: (laughs) I like that.

(opens door)

Greg: as punishment for lying to us,

Oliver: no wait a second, I didn’t lie to you guys, Taylor lied.

Greg: as punishment for helping Taylor lie

Oliver: again dad I’m sorry to interrupt, it I don’t help Taylor lie. She repayed me. Does the baker help someone who buys his bread? Does the butcher help someone who buys his meat?

Katie: uh-huh. Does the father help restrain somebody from strangling you in two seconds?

Greg: we don’t want you be a materialistic jerk.

Katie: and as punishment, were taking the money that you made from your phone scheme.

(takes Oliver’s money away)

Oliver: I thought we had a deal from me ratting out Taylor.

Katie: we did. I was gonna leave you buy the side of the road, were you end up kidnapped

Oliver: and shipped off to Singapore to work in a brothel.

Greg: you know maybe we should go for a worse scenario next time.

Katie: (sighs) it happens.

Elizabeth: so I called Sam and she didn’t respond.

Carly: she didn’t?

Elizabeth: no. I was trying to get her a new shirt and she wasn’t gonna dye for it so she could’ve been a little harsh with me.

Carly: wow. (Looks at Taylor) don’t even think about it.

Elizabeth: are you taking to her when you opened and closed her door?

Carly: no. I have a camera on my phone to watch them not leaving their rooms.

Elizabeth: Taylor and Oliver are in their rooms for the night?

Carly: yes. Because Taylor ditched Ellen and Oliver lied to Katie and Greg about Taylor because he thought about everything. And they have no one to blame for what happened but themselves.

Elizabeth: oh that’s sad.

Carly: yeah well I don’t give a damn after what they did, I think they should be grounded for a month.

Anna-Kat: (chuckles) (about Taylor and Oliver) they are so grounded forever. (Giggles)

Katie: does that deal with tornadoes?

Anna-Kat: yeah.

Katie: we live here and we’re all the way there.

Anna-Kat: huh? So it doesn’t mean to be afraid of tornadoes?

Katie: no it doesn’t. And I have to say I’m so proud of you. You are growing up and showing some independence. For you doing the right thing, you earned a tally. And if you don’t want me walking you into school anymore, that’s ok too.

Anna-Kat: thanks for understanding mama. You’re the best. (Both hug)

Carly: Anna-Kat, come here.

Anna-Kat: (comes downstairs)

Carly: I have gotta say I’m so proud of you for being so well behaved and so independent that you are. As a reward, you can go in the iPad all day tomorrow. And as that, you are safe from being grounded.

Anna-Kat: (gasps happily and screams in excitement) thanks Carly. You’re the best.

Carly: yep.

Anna-Kat: (rubs upstairs to her room and bees happy because she is safe from being grounded)

Carly: Taylor and Oliver come in here right now.

(Taylor and Oliver go downstairs to se Carly)

Carly: I can’t believe you two were very unacceptable of what you did. (To Taylor) you. You lied to your Mom and Dad a little bit but ditching Ellen, that is the worst thing ever. I’m sorry to say this but it’s not ok for you to do that. So unhappy. And I’m very sorry to say this about it but you did the wrong thing, not Ellen. And I think you should lose your phone for the rest of the night. Maybe?

Taylor: alright.

Carly: but listen, it’s not ok for you to ditch a friend of yours like that. And it’s always on you for lamp, bed and wall. Maybe that’s the truth.

Taylor: yeah.

Carly: Yeah. I’m sorry about this grounded. Never like anyone else. You weren’t thinking about anyone but yourself. Only what you wanted. You and Oliver might’ve done this very disrespectful. This is only what you wanted. (Starts confronting Oliver by yelling at him) and you, trying to lie to your Mom and Dad more than Taylor? How gay are you? You tried to do it and now you want to be materialistic all the time? Who the whole do you think you are? Trying to be more materialistic and aggressive over shoes and now you’re paying me back for the repairs and now you don’t understand the definition of stop trying to be a materialistic bitch. And you didn’t do now you have. (To Taylor and Oliver) in my eyes, I couldn’t do it wrong. But you didn’t everything wrong. Your sister did everything right because she’s the one who made your Mom proud not you. Since Anna-Kat is safe, you two are in Jeopardy.

Taylor: ugh!

Carly: yep. And as punishment, you two are in charge of taking the garbage down for the rest of the week.

Taylor: ugh!

Oliver: are you kidding me?

Carly: I’m very serious. Go upstairs and go to your rooms right now.

(Taylor and Oliver go upstairs to their rooms)

Carly: good god they can take it but I am very disappointed in them.